I haven’t used this word for many years
already. I convince myself that words only belong to those who cannot accept
the facts and refuse to stand up and fight after failure. In other word, a
loser. It might be a wrong thought, but at least that is what I believe.
I am pretty aware that what we want and
what we get are not always mutually exclusive. By saying, or even thinking of
the words, will make me less grateful of what I have right now. I might not be
a successful person yet, but a loser is by no mean a choice for me.
But somehow at this moment, there is a
twist in my mind. If thinking of the words “what if” makes me a loser, then the
loser is what I am.
In this big hall full of custom, while
waiting for my name to be awarded with master scroll, my eyes randomly
searching for my family and finally not very far from me, I notice my brother,
my mother and an empty seat next to her. Yes, an empty seat that I reserve for
my father. I know, that is the most ridiculous and unacceptable thinking. But
my heart starts to ponder …
WHAT IF my father is here?
Will he gives his brightest smiles?
Will he wipes his happiness tears?
Will he hugs and tell me, “Dear, I am so
proud of you”
………………………………………………………………………………………
If only I can change the word “What if, my
father is here” to “Hey, my father is here!”, then all the questions would be
answered.
