Tired heart

whisper by nia

It's been a long and tiring day. I’d never expected that I will spend almost 8 hours on the road. With these long hours, I should have reach east cost of Malaysia. But actually, it is a usually-two-hours journey destination. A place which I used to called my second home. A place where I learn a lot of things, gain massive precious experience and meet various types of people which once brings me laughter and tears. But I guess when you don’t really belong to that place anymore, it can be felt.

Passing by the place that brings a lot of memories to me, could slicing my heart erratically. So, I just close my eyes, pretending to sleep and enjoy the music - only to realize that it just deteriorating my emotion.

It’s good to be home again. A perfect place to regain my drained body and heal my broken heart. Thanks for today - for its bittersweet memory.

Fairy tale

whisper by nia


In my heart and rational mind, I definitely believe that there is nothing such as fairytale and prince charming in this real life. It is only a good bed time story which will inspire the young children to get better dream instead of having a nightmares. I will doubt it if anyone claimed that their legendary love story, never gone into those windy and cloudy season and end up with "happily-ever after" effect. I don't buy it!

But one thing, I’m sure is, I do envy these persons. Their 9 years love relationship which has passed several trial, conflict, separation and reunion finally ended with an unforgettable wedding celebration. When Prince William and Catherine Middleton look at each other before they vowed “I do”, pure and true love are shown clearly in their eyes. Oh, how I envy that! And the wedding dress is perfectly awesome.
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Let me fly away

whisper by nia

I try not to remember. Throwing my feeling at the tops of the hills, let it crash the rocks and scatter away. I keep myself busy with the things I should. Like the smiling robot - heartless yet ambitious. I succeed at first. But somehow I failed. I failed with my own curiosity and wishful hope. And later, end up with even more severe disappointment - rigorous and constantly painful stab, deep at the center of my heart.

What is the big chaos? People do change. Everyone is changing. It is just a matter of time. Even if I spill enormous bloody tears, doesn't make any changes. Maybe I should change too. Yes, I should change too! I can change my appearance, I can change my attitude, but can I change my feeling?

Hey, tiny, fragile heart... the sooner you realize its over, the sooner you accept the facts, the better.

I’m trying… so hard..but it seems that, no matter how hard I try, it always start back at one and ended at none..Help me! It’s a dead end in front of me. My eyes are blurry, I think I might saw something far beneath the sky, but it’s not clear, it just so far away. Is it hope? Or faith? Or maybe it is just my anticipative imagination?

Close your eyes.. Feel it with your soul. Whether it is hope or faith, or plainly nothing, it is YOU who decide it.

At this moment I just want to fly away. Leaving my helpless body, with all the memories that haunting me. Away until I forgot everything and be forgotten
 
Courtesy:pirate queen

Memorable

whisper by nia

My friend said " You always write your blog when you feeling down. You must be very happy now coz  I didn't see any update on your blog for the past few weeks!"

Actually, I am not happier than I was before. It is just only that a visit to another side of the worlds change the way I think. Like the famous quote by Henry Miller,"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things."

 I learn a lot from this trip, which open my eyes and heart even wider. The cold temperatures, the blooming magnolia,the ancient and unique architecture, massive and gigantic archaic construction and the symbolize of power, which I cannot experience here makes me realizes few things.

The person that I  respect once said, " by looking at all this magnificent things, we will praise The Almighty better. He is the good planner after all ". Yes. I agree without a doubt. Everything happens to me also is under His plan. And never He fails in His plan. All I have to do is just wait and see, what is the real story behind everything.

To stand on one of the seven wonders of the world gives me brand new feeling. It is not only about being there and experience the feeling. It also about throwing all the sadness in the air of the Great Wall and trying to be strong like it always will.


 
 

As I waived goodbye to Beijing, my heart divided by two. Half of it, jump in enjoyment - to be back in my beloved family's arm, the warm weather, Malaysian tasteful foods and hospitality. But the other half of me wish to stay longer, long enough to forget all the misery and cure my heart..
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About Me

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NIA is acronym of my name. And also happen to be acronym of " natural idiosyncrasy anonymous", which apparently suits me well at this moment. I'm not so good in putting the right word verbally, but slightly, (maybe slightly) better in putting it in a nice readable material. Here I am, whispering my unspoken thought... and this is a piece of my thoughts

SoOthing MelOdy


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