Rainbow In The Morning

Today is the first day of emancipation. A freedom from constant depression of non stop ad hoc activities,  mountains of excruciating assignment and undefined tormenting study. My 50 days of freedom started today. I have made to-do-list. A long list actually. I have full confident to accomplish it. 50 days is such a long holiday. Maybe I will get full use of it. Or maybe I just finish it by doing nothing...

No matter how hard I try, when it is not meant to be, it never will. If this is the best for everyone, why would I risking everything trying to change it? I'm giving in. Honestly I'm tired of hoping. Hoping for a miracle, I supposed? People might say that, nothing is impossible. There is still hope, don't let your faith die. An easy statement for a hard implementation. Lets just admit that I'm not strong enough to wait and be dissapointed. Or just put the blame on me. I had my chance once but I'm too blind to realize it. And now it maybe too late.

It's plain to see right? I should giving in. I must give in!

But why am I still uncertain? Undecided again..